“Blessed are you,
O God of our fathers;
praised be your name
forever and ever.
Let the heavens and
all your creation
praise you forever.
“You made Adam and
you gave him his wife Eve
to be his help and support;
and from these two
the human race descended.
“It is not good for the man to be alone;
Let us make him a partner like himself”
Now, Lord, you know that I take this
wife of mine, not because of lust,
but for a noble purpose.
Call down your mercy on me and on her,
and allow us to live together to a happy old age.”
This beautiful prayer was the second reading of our Nuptial Mass in 1982 when my husband and I were married. When I first read these words many years ago, they affected me deeply, especially when I learned the history of why Tobias said this prayer.
After losing seven husbands before she could consummate her union with them, Sarah entered into marriage with Tobias. Tobias knew the history and understood that he could die if he married her. But he trusted God, recited the above prayer fervently and went on to a happy marriage with Sarah.
Nowadays, many Catholic couples live together or are sexually active before marriage. As much as they may desire to love one another – and most, I’m certain, really do feel love and affection towards the other – they cannot love each other in the way they are called to: freely, totally, faithfully and fruitfully, truly loving as God loves. Sexual relations are meant to be the renewal of a couple’s marriage vows. If there is no marriage, there are no vows and there can be no renewal. Essentially, pre-marital sex is a lie.
I realize that this may not be an easy thing for engaged couples to hear, especially if they are already living together. But if a couple wants to be close to each other and to God, it is essential for them to live the truth of God’s laws on marriage: chastity before marriage and no contraception within marriage.
“God help us to love each other freely, totally, faithfully and fruitfully. Help us to love and not to lust.”
Copyright 2011 Ellen Gable Hrkach