Miscarriage is the Loss of a Real Child

The following is an excerpt of Fr. Frank Pavone’s moving article on miscarriage in a recent issue of LifeSite News:

While there are no magic formulas, there is one fundamental truth that needs to stay front and center: a miscarriage is the loss of a child who is just as real and has just as much value as any other child of any age. A woman who has a miscarriage is a parent who has lost a child, as is the father of the child as well.

In a society which continues to have a legal and cultural blind spot for the unborn, many suffer from the illusion that miscarriage doesn’t grieve a parent as much as the loss of, well, a “real child.” And that is precisely what hurts so much. We can never console someone in grief if we imply, even remotely, that the person they lost wasn’t real.

As someone who has lost seven babies through miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy, I can tell you that the grief is real. I began writing in a journal to ease the grief I was feeling as the result of having several miscarriages in a row. This journal led to the writing of my first published article in 1995,
“Five Little Souls in Heaven.”

Thanks, Fr. Pavone, for the moving article.

To read the article in its entirety, please click on the link above.

Photo copyright Ellen Gable Hrkach

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6 thoughts on “Miscarriage is the Loss of a Real Child

  1. When my son called one evening, in tears, he said “The baby died Mom….” Danielle had slipped on the outdoor stairs that morning on her way to work, and rode them all the way to the bottom. They lived on the upper floor. She said she felt fine and went to work. At 3 she began bleeding and Mark met her at the hospital.
    No heartbeat.
    My son was crying for two reasons.

    He said “Mom they want to cut our baby up and abort him!”
    I cried “No!”
    And he continued “We decided we’d deliver our baby.”
    I waited, here so far away. An away made so much farther away because of their suffering.
    At 11 he called and said that Isaac was born, and baptized by their parish priest and they held him in the palms of their hands.

    He was curiously calm and quiet and said “Mom, all the nurses and people here went from stand offish about our choice not to do that “procedure” to being in awe. Mom, they really understood that this was our baby, not just some dead meat to be cut up and thrown away!”

    Yes. Isaac was a precious person, body and soul, to us.

    It was a balm to soothe my heart too.

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  4. Sorry for your loss! For those with recurrent miscarriage please listen to Dr Hilgers on Spirit Radio Show 15 Women Healed – Recurrent Spontaneous Abortion (miscarriages) http://www.kvss.com/pages.asp?pageid=63984
    If you’re dealing with infertility please read~ What are the Medical Risks of Infertility? Infertility is associated with a group of diseases that affect not only the reproductive status of women but also their very health…..In women, one of the main difficulties with infertility and the organic diseases and hormonal dysfunctions that are associated with it isthat these same diseases can also cause both short- and long-term disability, impairment of one’s quality of life and even potentially the shortening of one’s life……. http://www.unleashingthepower.info/PDFs/IA-MedRisksInfertility.pdf
    NaProTechnology: Moral and Better than In Vitro http://bit.ly/nHRDKl
    PCOD …Successful Surgical… NaProTechnology
    A number of women reading this right now might have polycystic ovaries. Polycystic ovaries are present in about 14 percent of otherwise healthy women and full-blown polycystic ovarian disease, or PCOD, afflicts approximately 6 percent of women. While many women who have PCOD do not exhibit any of the common symptoms, frequent indicators of PCOD may include amenorrhea (which is the absence of a menstrual period), obesity, facial hair (also called hirsuitism), and high blood pressure………Having polycystic ovaries puts women at risk for infertility, abnormal cholesterol levels, diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, thrombosis, and cancers including endometrial, ovarian and breast cancers……. http://www.drhilgers.com/2009/09/03/news-item-2/
    NaProTECHNOLOGY-trained physicians can be found at “Find a Medical Consultant Section
    http://www.fertilitycare.org/

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