Infant Loss Awareness Month #neverbestill

My latest post at Amazing Catchecists: The entire month of October is devoted to Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness.

James and I are blessed, honored, and grateful to be the parents of five adult sons and three beautiful daughters-in-law (as well as two grandchildren!)

But not a day goes by that I don’t think about those seven precious babies we lost through miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy. This month, we remember in a special way these seven little souls (and intercessors) in heaven.

Here are some of my reflections on pregnancy loss:

Among Women Podcast Episode 89 (Pat Gohn interviewed me about miscarriage and pregnancy loss)

Five Little Souls in Heaven    (This article was written 27 years ago and published in the Nazareth Journal)

Difficult Anniversaries/Responsible Parenthood

One of the themes of my first novel, Emily’s Hope, is pregnancy loss.

This excerpt describes Emily’s loss of baby “Seth.”

“I need to push.” She wanted so desperately not to push, to allow her baby to stay inside of her, and for her to continue to nourish and nurture her child, but her body wouldn’t allow that. She pushed only twice and her small child was born. Emily heard a sound like a kitten crying, then realized that her baby had let out a small, soft, weak cry.

As soon as the umbilical cord was cut, the nurse immediately carried the baby across the room as the pediatric staff attempted to work on their child. Emily and Jason sat quietly, their hearts heavy with emotion. A few minutes later, she felt another contraction and her placenta was delivered. She could hear a nurse referring to “him,” and realized that their child was another boy. After a few minutes, the doctor brought him back, his small form still hidden in the blue hospital blanket. He spoke in a hushed, almost apologetic voice, “There is nothing we can do for him.”

He handed the tiny less-than-one-pound baby boy to his mother. Jason held onto Emily’s shoulder and watched as she cradled the smallest baby they had ever seen. He was so perfect and looked identical to their oldest son, Jake. His small body was covered with minute white hairs. He was perfect as he struggled to breathe. He was perfect as he opened his mouth to cry. Emily held her new son as gently as she could. Jason reached over and poured a few drops of water on him and said, “I baptize you in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Emily could feel the vibration of his tiny heart
beating fast.

The nurse came in with a Polaroid camera and asked if they wanted her to take a photo of their child. Emily nodded as the nurse took a photo of her and Jason and their tiny son. She gazed in awe at this miniature human being and marveled at the fact that even though he was tiny, he was so perfect. His little hands looked like a doll’s hands. She removed the baby blanket and laid his small, warm body on her chest. She could feel his heart beating rapidly. After several minutes, she wrapped him again in the small blue blanket.

Then, in an instant, he was still. She could feel that his heart had stopped, and he wasn’t breathing, but he continued to feel warm and soft. He looked like a sleeping angel.

Excerpt copyright 2005 Ellen Gable (End of excerpt.)

Here is a list of Catholic novels with miscarriage/baby loss as a theme.

In Name Only by Ellen Gable

A Subtle Grace by Ellen Gable

Stealing Jenny by Ellen Gable

A World Such as Heaven Intended by Amanda Lauer

Rose, Sola by Carmela Martino

The Rose and the Sword by Gina Marinello-Sweeney

Bane’s Eyes by Corinna Turner

Ornamental Graces by Carolyn Astfalk

If you have lost a baby through miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, stillbirth, or infant death, please click the link above “Baby Loss” for resources and helpful links.

In memory of our seven little souls in heaven:

Baby Hrkach Twins (June 1986)

Baby Hrkach  (February 1991)

Baby Hrkach  (June 1991)

Mary Elizabeth Hrkach (June 1993)

Seth Hrkach  (April 1998)

Lucy Hrkach (March 2006)

An Open Book – October 2022

I’m joining Carolyn Astfalk and CatholicMom.com for An Open Book. Here’s what I’ve been reading and working on:

Mary’s Life Journey & Her Amazing Yes by Denise Mercado

Synopsis: (will be available October 21 via Amazon.)

Who is Mary, and why is she so important to the Catholic faith?

Denise Mercado invites readers to explore this question with her as she uncovers the meaning behind the rosary and other important Catholic traditions.

After being raised as a Catholic, Denise finds herself distracted by all life has to offer. When her youngest son is diagnosed with a terrible illness, however, she begins to question her beliefs and sets out on a quest to discover the truth.

Denise wanders through Protestantism, reading spiritual writings and attending a nondenominational church, but something is missing.

Denise returns to her roots and digs deep, investigating the rosary and its importance in her spiritual journey. She realizes that the rosary strengthens her faith and helps her navigate life’s troubles. Denise begins to look at the life of the Blessed Mother, Mary, in the Bible, the Infancy Gospels, and the apocryphal writings.

Join Denise as she shares her personal faith journey and the research that helped to shape it. You will come away with a greater appreciation for the stamina and endurance of the Mother of Our Lord and learn about the important origins of many Catholic beliefs.

My review: This is a wonderful book that outlines the life of Mary with the author’s thoughts as well as autobiographical information. It’s written in a more academic style that is refreshing in this day and age of so many self-publishing authors. Highly recommend.

Amazon Synopsis: He presided over 61,000 abortions—one of which was suffered by his then-girlfriend—and directed the largest abortion clinic in the world. He had helped to legalize abortion in the first place.
One day, he had a change of heart. One day, he found God.
At the drop of a hat, an abortion doctor renounced his profession—and his atheism—for pro-life advocacy and Christianity.
In the most shocking revelations ever expressed in an autobiography, one man unveils his entire life story, detailing countless events—from his gruesome abortion procedures to his conversion and involvement in The Silent Scream.
Discover one man’s incredible journey from death to life in Bernard Nathanson’s The Hand of God.

My review: I bought this book after watching Roe v. Wade on Netflix or Prime. The content of the movie was outstanding, but the acting, writing and directing was, unfortunately, mediocre. However, it made me want to read about Bernard Nathanson’s conversion (from atheist-abortionist to pro-life doctor to Catholic). I’m just starting this book, but it’s excellent already.

Redemption (Shadows of the Sun #5)
by Mina Ambrose

Synopsis: Now available for pre-order from Full Quiver Publishing!

Unnoticed by all except Phaedra, Jude’s body has been spirited away by Dr. Lee Davis and his henchmen in the midst of the great battle between Charon’s legions and Mara’s VK army.

Mara and the Prince set out, intending to track down the villains and retrieve the body of their son. Phaedra is left desolate.

Meanwhile, Jude awakens in the mad scientist’s lab and finds himself in the hands of unscrupulous researchers who mean to study this half-human, half-vampire creature. But Dr. Davis is not content with that; he has mad plans for using Jude’s preternatural powers for his own gain.

Forced to play the doc’s infernal game in order to save his loved ones, Jude finds himself battling yet another “dragon,” perhaps worse than the first. It seems there is no way out, but that he must finally bow to Dr. Lee’s indomitable will—at the cost of his freedom, his sanity, perhaps his very life.

Or will Phaedra find the key so that Mara and the Prince can locate him in time to fly to his rescue?