My maternal grandparents, John and Bessie May, met as teenagers. In this photo from 1916 — they were married in November of that year — they look very happy and very much in love. They went on to build a wonderful life together, welcoming and raising five children. My grandfather was half American Indian and half German. Like most couples, they also had their share of heartbreaks and challenges. My mother was their fourth living child, and the first to proudly graduate high school. Their descendants include 22 grandchildren (14 still living) and more than 30 great-grandchildren.
According to my mother, and from what I observed as a young child, they continued to grow in love and remained happily married. Over the years, my grandmother had gained a lot of weight, but my grandfather told her that it didn’t matter to him, because there was “a lot more of her to love.”
We have an old home 8 mm home movie of their 50th wedding anniversary celebration from 1966, and there is one scene where they are hugging. It’s endearing, but also a bit humorous because my grandmother had had a bit too much to drink.
In July of 1967, my grandmother died of a stroke. My grandfather was never quite the same.
The last time I saw him was on Christmas Day, 1968. My mother and I went to visit him in his house on Carlisle Street in South Philly. When we came in, he was sitting in his chair by the front door, his head low, a cigarette between two fingers. He looked up at us and I think his mouth almost lifted in a smile when he saw us, but his eyes seemed so sad. Before my grandmother died, he was very animated and he used to pull me into a big hug and kiss me. That day we gave him a few gifts — I remember thinking that it might make him happy. But he opened them and again, tried to smile, then nodded and said, “Merry Christmas.” Mom tried to talk with him, but he didn’t appear to be in a talkative mood.
My grandfather passed away six weeks later (on February 7th, 1969, 48 years ago today). When I asked Mom how he died, she said, “He died of a broken heart.”
Their story is also included in my first novel, Emily’s Hope.
Remembering both of my grandparents today in a special way.
“May all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.”
Text and photos copyright 2017 Ellen Gable Hrkach